The Benefit of Been There Done That

I found myself talking about the past a ton today as I described some deja vu moments. I love the inner workings of the brain because the limbic system allows us to learn from our past by remembering the moments. I've talked about Emotional Intelligence and the limbic system in many forums. Bottomline, EQ means everything to you as you get older and presumably wiser. I like to presume an increase in wisdom, but truthfully wisdom comes with practice and that's where EQ comes into play.

The limbic system is the emotional repository of every last one of our experiences in the brain. I often describe this area of the brain like our emotional library. If we've done a great job of understanding and cataloging our experiences, we can rely on the benefit of the knowledge in the future. Deja vu is therefore your brain relating a past experience to something you're facing today. Absent a supernatual or religious explanation, I do believe we are given second chances at improving similar circumstances.

Ever exclaim, "why does this keep happening to me"? Well, that's a sign you continue to repeat behaviors that are giving you the same results. Most people don't recognize that the change must happen a few steps before you feel the pain of the outcomes. Keep dating the same wrong person for you? It's not them, it is you! Keep feeling the same disappointment or lack of fulfillment at a job. It's not them, it is you. At least, it is your set of decisions that have led to the same experiences.

We must want more for ourselves then to live repeated disappointments.

This is where it gets serious. Until you get uncomfortable enough, you won't make a change. That's'll keep making the same set of mistakes early that give you the same disappointing outcomes in the end. It is our ability to be fed up and insistent on "this will never happen again" that drives us to make a more permanent, long-lasting change. It's not an age thing, it is a goals and happiness thing. 

When you decide things will be different, they will be different.

The "been there done that" phrase carries a very important attitude - it's the I'm not going back to that no matter what attitude. It's an attitude that explores, "I see it, and I will steer clear of it". We cannot allow mundane activities or a set routine to lead us. We make our dreams come true through our passion for the outcomes we want to reach. In many areas of life people just go with the flow and wonder why they have flowed right into a dead end. 

Follow your heart, lead yourself to your dreams.

We call it being an Alpha personality or an A-Type. When women have it we get called all sorts of unflattering names for taking the lead in moving toward achieving our goals. I don't care what you call me, I care what I do to lead myself. Functioning by way of what others think and say is a version of going with the flow - and that's being a follower.

The best you can expect by following is receiving a weakened version of someone else's dream.

The moral of the story is that you must look inward to decide what you want out of life; keep your eyes open to recognize those deja vu moments; and be ready to lead yourself to the finish line. There has to come a time in your life when you decide to go for it - the best you can; showcasing the very best of your abilities. As a former athlete that's the only way I know how to win and advance to the next levels in life - you give it everything you have. That everything must include the benefit of your experiences; and wisdom to create new behaviors and outcomes.

Would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. How have you grown and shifted in life? Was it easy to break out of "the matrix"? Drop some wisdom in the comments and let's chat!



Jennifer "drJ" Thibeaux is an American author, publisher, speaker, and entrepreneur. Leading The Thibeaux Company®, drJ hopes to impact human performance in a variety of industries. Working with executives and key influencers in Fortune 100 companies, drJ has developed a keen sense of performance in action. Earning business and education advanced degrees, drJ continues to insert intelligence into the performance conversation. Hosting and appearing on a variety of radio shows, podcasts, and other broadcast mediums, drJ has no "stop" in sight. To find out more about Jennifer "drJ" Thibeaux or products and projects from The Thibeaux Company®, be sure to visit

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