Building the Right Relationship

The romance begins at the very moment the fantasy enters your head - the perfect relationship is born. As the fantasy continues to crystallize, the idea of your fantasy becoming reality starts feeling a little less far fetched. As you lock and load on the dream, you subconsciously attract the reality. That's your hope and dream - that the perfection in your head becomes the reality in front of you.

And then you wake up. Just kidding, we're all in a state of dreaming - we better be. To aspire for something greater than you have right now requires you to dream, and dream big! In business, we start this fantasy of the perfect job, with the perfect schedule; and the perfect co-workers; and the perfect salary! Everyone is happy and your bank account thanks you. Happy work life to many means happy life. 

If you decide that your work life dictates your real life, then your chances of a happy life are diminished.

Let's unpack the notion that our work life is the overseer of our entire life. I believe that many don't realize how they prioritize their work life; the power you give it. Don't get me wrong - if you've signed up to do a job - you do it to the best of your ability. I'm not suggesting that a work life should be demoted in your system. I'm suggesting you evaluate how important you've really made your work life and take back ownership of your happiness. It's decision making time on promoting your happiness.

What comes first the chicken (great job), or the egg (great happiness)?

That's the question we must ask ourselves. We cannot get so tangled up in the job that we lose sight of the power to control our own happiness. I recall making a big decision to leave my employer who had paid me well, treated me right, and was associated with some of the happiest work days of my career. I made a shift in response to an organizational shift that appeared to not be able to provide those happy moments for me. Yes I walked away from what some may have thought was a ton...but I walked away from what would have destroyed my own happiness. I walked away with a free conscious. It was at that moment I became clear that my happiness was paramount to my survival in this thing we call life. I realized that I could pursue my own happiness no matter the job. 

If you've ever gone to work sheepishly grinning because you've got the goose that laid the golden egg..that was me. I found the power and control of my happiness and no one could negotiate that away from me. Did it relegate me to being an entrepreneur until the day I died? No, of course not. As a matter of fact, in my own life I went on to work with a College as a Director in Adult Continuing Education; an international non profit as a Director in Innovation, Research & Assessment; I consulted for airline leaders; and launched business ventures in education, film, apparel, and broadcasting. How's that for expanding on the happiness?

We don't get a second chance at yesterday's happiness.

You know when you get to say if your day was a happy one - tomorrow? We're working today for tomorrow's happiness! I understand the feature film, Pursuit of Happiness starting Will Smith. We cannot allow a structure that fails us to break us. Leaders, and I do mean true leaders, build from the rubble to create something great, and show others how to do the same. If I can inspire just one message from this article it is to...

...build a relationship with happiness that fosters a happy relationship with your job.

The most popular month people look for jobs is in January. Typically, time off from the holidays has created moments of reflection and moments of high spending. People like to test the waters for something fresh, new, and better at the beginning of the year. I would suggest that added to that motivation is finding a place you can take your brand of happiness and elevate it and the job to the next level. That's a great reason to look, and that's a great reason for people to hire you - happiness squared. 

Learn from your mistakes at past jobs where things weren't perfect for you and don't be afraid to speak those demons back under the rocks they came from! Prime example, if you worked in a depressing (i.e. everyone complaining) environment, don't be afraid to tell people (yes even in the interview), that's not who you are. Let the future employer or business partner know exactly who you are, the energy you bring to the table, and the results you're trying to achieve. How's that for allowing your happiness to lead your tongue? 

We cannot be afraid to positively move to the next best levels in our lives. Just because you hadn't witnessed someone else do it this way - trust me, the best lead with their positivity and happiness. It is impossible to have a positive outlook on your new experience if you lead with negativity. Who would really hire you? Seriously think about that. How can you have a positive outlook for the company's vision if you don't possess it for yourself?

The answer to the question is the egg (your happiness) comes first!

Do some soul searching if needed, and find your happiness. It may mean a job change, schedule change, or some other changes in your life. Happiness comes first, and great opportunities follow - always. I would love to hear your thoughts.

--drJ

#Shock the World

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